


Inevitable

by Nakimochiku



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:30:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakimochiku/pseuds/Nakimochiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaworu thinks it's all too fitting, that they are each other's firsts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitable

Looking back on it, Kaworu finds it all too fitting that they are each other’s firsts. He wondered at humans, long ago before he’d been Kaworu, watching them squirming together it the dark, making animal noises between breathy words, pawing at each other in greedy desperation. The longer he thinks on it, staring at the top of Shinji’s dark head, listening to the faint echo of his music, the more he wants to see Shinji like that, sweaty and strung out beneath him, riding a high on a wave of endorphins, panting his name like a prayer.

Greedy for him alone.

The bed is a size too small for the both of them, but Shinji refuses to take his bed, and Kaworu insists on giving it up, so they compromise, fitting together like jigsaw pieces. Shinji’s head rests on Kaworu’s arm, his headphones digging into his muscles uncomfortably, his breath gusting warm and moist over the skin of his throat. Kaworu leans closer, smells NERV  issue shampoo and LCL, smells sweat and pheromones. Shinji is so beautifully human, Kaworu can’t help but cradle him, brush his free hand over bare skin to feel the pathetic flutter of his heart, the pumping of his blood.

It strikes him somewhere in his chest when he thinks of how easy it would be to drive his hand into Shinji’s body, rip his heart out from between his ribs. So fragile, these lilim are.

“Um...” Shinji squeaks, shifting just enough to look up at Kaworu. The sheets rustle beneath them. “Aren’t you a little too close?” He wiggles beneath Kaworu’s hand on his bare thigh. Kaworu smiles, traces patterns in a language Shinji couldn’t begin to understand over his skin, and says nothing about the little responding shiver and the quick intake of breath.

“There’s nowhere else to go.” He says cheerfully. His back is already flush against the bedroom wall. Shinji blushes, chances a glance up into Kaworu’s face and immediately looks away. Kaworu grips his ass. “We did agree on sharing.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean you have to touch me!” he stresses the words until they fall precariously off his tongue, voice cracking, pushing weakly at his chest. Kaworu’s lips stretch into a wider smile, tangling the fingers of his nearly asleep arm in Shinji’s silk black hair, while his other hand comes to rest low on his hip.

“Is there something wrong with it?” He asks innocently, pulling Shinji closer. He wants to engulf him. Swallow him up and hold him. Shinji makes an embarrassing noise, and something half hard pokes his thigh. “Ah.” He says blandly, touching the tent of Shinji’s pajamas. “You’re aroused.”

“Don’t say aroused like that, you creep!” Shinji hisses. It has no bite. Kaworu palms him curiously through the fabric, fisting now and then just to listen to the rattling hitches in Shinji’s breath. His cock is heavy and hot in Kaworu’s grasp. He reaches passed Shinji’s waist band, and pauses when Shinji grabs his wrist. “Don’t – you shouldn’t – it’s weird.”

“What’s weird about it?” Kaworu pries Shinji’s fingers from his wrist, pulls his cock out to study it in the light of distant neon signs and a weary moon, thumbs the slits and smears precum. Shinji keens and bucks up into his loose fist, eyes half lidded and hazy.

“Even for friends...it’s weird.”

A frown flits across Kaworu’s brow. “It’s an expression of love, isn’t it?” he wiggles his hips as his own arousal becomes uncomfortable, his arm tingling from lack of circulation and his wrist starting to grow sore from the awkward angle. Shinji gasps out his name.  Kaworu closes his eyes to savour it; it’s even sweeter than he’d imagined. “Me too.” He says, jerking his hips forward enticingly. Shinji flushes, fingers thick and fumbling as he draws Kaworu’s cock out into the air, and strokes once hesitantly. Kaworu makes a low groan in his throat, pulls Shinji closer to align their hips, their cocks rubbing together hotly. He puts his hands over Shinji’s, forms a loose fist with both their hands to slide their cocks into.

Sweat glistens on Shinji’s forehead. He smells of exertion, sex, death. Kaworu breathes into his hair and thrusts shallowly into their joined hands. Something tightens in his belly, spurred by Shinji’s muffled cries and harsh panting breaths against his neck, threatening to tear out of him. It feels like the one thing he’s ever wanted, save Shinji himself. Kaworu lets out a mewling cry as he comes, fingers tightening around Shinji’s, until he falls with a ragged moan.

“That was definitely weird.” Shinji pants out after a moment’s silence. Kaworu inspects the substance splattered over his fingers, running his tongue up his pam. “Don’t taste it!” Shinji objects roughly, dragging his hand away. His cheeks are still heated, an attractive red that makes Kaworu think of the juicy insides of blood oranges. His taste, mingled with his own, is salty bitter and utterly human.

It is unavoidable, Kaworu thinks, that they should be each other’s firsts. Shinji after all, is like every other lillim on the planet, susceptible to kind words and cheap pleasure, making animal noises and animal movements when touched just so. Yet he is unique; because he alone is Kaworu’s treasure.

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this done for literal years, i've just been lazy. so here it is.


End file.
